mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
