Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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