Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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