Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize