She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
