i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
