her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
