When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
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