Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
