Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
