Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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