she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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