When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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