i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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