so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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