she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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