it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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