We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
