i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
