I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
