He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Randomize
