yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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