Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Randomize