I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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