your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
they call him Oral-B. enough said
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Randomize