i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
