You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
