You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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