I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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