I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize