We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
