i think i have herpe
just one?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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