It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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