If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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