shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
