I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
