So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
