Apparently you make a good broom.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Randomize
