There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
