well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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