so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
