i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
