Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
