i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
