Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just pee around me
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
