whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
