i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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