idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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