WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize