I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize