I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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