last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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