dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Randomize
