Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
