so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
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