i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
