I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
