I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
i think im in europe. pls send help
Omg I joined a choir last night...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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