even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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