Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
