What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
