A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
