Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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