oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
