Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
