Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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