so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He felt like a one man threesome
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
