he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Randomize
